“I Am Not a Slutt offers both a wake-up call about the dangerous impact of the word ‘slut’ and a path forward to talk about sex and sexuality in an open, positive, and nonjudgmental way.” -Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America
"The woman who exposed slut-bashing, cat-fighting, and God-reclaiming takes on women's masochistic relationship with their feet. Run (while you still can) to your nearest bookstore and save your sole." - Jennifer Baumgardner, author of Look Both Ways and Manifesta
Have you ever been #dresscoded? Do you know someone who has? If yes, I invite you to participate in my Instagram, @BeingDressCoded.
The term "dress-coded" has several meanings. Usually it refers to a student being reprimanded or punished by their school because they are wearing clothing in violation of the school's formalized dress code policy. Most often, girls are dress-coded for wearing clothing considered too revealing or sexualized. Students of color are more frequently dress-coded than white students.
I also use the term "dress-coded" to refer to experiences in which someone of any age or gender is called out by their peers, colleagues, or strangers for wearing clothing judged "too" revealing or sexualized.
School dress codes often are sexist because they suggest that girls' bodies (and not boys') must be covered up and their sexuality policed. They also often perpetuate race-based stereotypes about women's bodies. In other spaces, tacit dress codes exist and affect all girls and women. Being dress-coded very often is an act of being slut-shamed—being reduced to one's sexuality, equated with one's sexuality, and judged and shamed for one's sexuality.
This project, @BeingDressCoded, explores how expectations of the ways girls and women "should" dress influence the way they behave, think, and feel.
Message or email me (email@example.com) if you want to participate. Please send a photograph of yourself, preferably a selfie, wearing an outfit that got you dress-coded in school or another space or called out by someone who said you were dressed in an inappropriately sexualized manner. Or, you can send me a photo of an outfit that you are afraid to wear in public because you are anxious about being dress-coded or called out. I will follow up and work with you to create a post on @BeingDressCoded you are proud of.
Each photo is accompanied by a quote or feminist/racial equity commentary. I make sure that each participant feels comfortable with their post before it goes live. Photos can be neck-down, or with one's face blurred, for those who wish to remain anonymous. My goal is to create a space that is respectful and safe. Participating in this project is a way to contribute to this urgent conversation.
** I am aware that by visually depicting girls and women being dress-coded, I unintentionally may enable some viewers to sexualize the subjects of the photographs. Please be aware that my goal is to help cease the sexualization of girls' and women's bodies against their will in non-sexual contexts by raising awareness of the harm this dynamic causes. When girls and women are viewed solely as sexualized beings, they are treated unequally, face gendered discrimination, and become vulnerable to acts of sexual harassment and assault. Showing the clothing they are wearing at the time they are dress-coded or slut-shamed clarifies the sexism at play.
Here I am (in red jacket) leading a panel discussion with three young women about their experiences with school dress codes at the Limmud NY conference on February 17, 2019, in New York City.